boredphuckers

2010-02-05T05:26:00.001+08:00

hey fuckers miss u guys

2009-05-20T04:14:00.001+08:00

ha ha
hi all which toe is the unluckiest?
this be a joke

2009-04-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

"lennard sucks more" POKER NIGHT

Come to violate the holy sanctity of this Catholic family on Good Friday night!

Host:	The 28THL Poker Club
Type:	Education - Workshop
Network:	Global

Start Time:	Friday, April 10, 2009 at 7:00pm
End Time:	Saturday, April 11, 2009 at 5:00am
Location:	28THL

Description

EAT DINNER FIRST

Money is Good on Fridays!

Jesus died for your potential winnings!

the latest event invite for our poker night ^
written by some blasphemous fool (not me)

2008-08-05T00:12:00.001+08:00

POST MOTHERFUCKERS POST

hi from hell ^_^

2008-05-22T23:42:00.003+08:00

hi. this is just so because we/i haven't seen u guys in about a year now.

medics are, contrary to popular belief, really busy people that enjoy having weekends, be it saturday, sunday, or both, to be burnt! of course, this also means that, contrary to popular belief, medics may be smokers too! also, it also means that, contrary to popular belief, some medics may end up destroying medical centres at their own risk!

i met dathau a few months back. pehpeh also. i haven't seen most of u all since we left tekong. i r sad. on a side note. wanker's coming back in june, and if time permits, let's meet up plspls! :D <-- happy medic

2008-03-18T13:54:00.001+08:00

good day boredphuckers, heres an update on our lives.

the saf sucks

the cadets have been commisioned

we are going to ord soon

hang in there folks for the end is near. praise be to jesus

2007-10-22T00:40:00.000+08:00

TAIWAN BITCHES!

2007-07-29T01:44:00.000+08:00

i believe no1 reads this anymore. but just for spam!

I, am a Medic of the Singapore Armed Forces.

I take pride in my vocation, my skills, and the responsibilities entrusted to me.

I will seek to constantly upgrade my professional knowledge and skills.

I will save lives, reduce suffering, show care, concern and compassion to all those I treat.

I will serve my fellow soldiers, the Medical Corps, and the SAF, with total commitment.

Medic!

as this is restricted, u must all shred ur monitors now

2007-05-31T20:45:00.001+08:00

of course! IMAGESHACK! fool i am.

must book in now see you all soon

2007-05-31T20:40:00.001+08:00

dear friends

thanks to the demise of my old blog

our photo is lost

alas! we need a new image host.

anyways id just like to say that half of the boredphuckers are going to the same uni... again.

2007-05-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

i misses y'all so much tooooo.. ):

2007-04-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

halo boredphuckers we shall now me boredarmyers
ah! fresh new chapter of life

2007-04-22T11:21:00.000+08:00

I BELIEVE THAT HAVING 1MM DIAMETER HOLES IN UR ARM HURTS.

2007-01-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

i miss you armies baobao*

2006-12-30T21:17:00.000+08:00

dear boredphuckers,

happy almost-newyear's-eve. army has been okay so far. we don't get to use our minds very much. our biceps are used more than our brain. for example, we only need to remember 5 or so terms for our rifle. even shooting is more finger strength than brain usage. when you guys enlist, me and monster and peh will probably be in ocs already.

anyway id like to thank all of you for the things you've done this year for me. i love all of you alot alot. there aren't any army stories to say, and i'm sure cai and peh will have things to fill in.

know that 2006 was a bad year, but it would have been worse without all of you.

love,
bonks (lover of supersecret, supersuper secret, pink panther, platypus)

2006-11-23T19:15:00.000+08:00

in penis length btw. unerected. and after exercise

2006-11-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

hULLEW i is are here agins 8)
i am 9 x 2 x 2 x 9 x 83 x 83784348398x98x988x68x565x65x223237x6262x4x85645x4x^37463643746374682
in macrometersssss

2006-11-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

OMFG

2006-11-11T03:36:00.000+08:00

2006-10-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

d!nGs.co.nr says (9:40 PM):
why would i wanna do that
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
to humiliate me la
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
luckily the public has faith in my
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
uprightedness
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
hm
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
is there such a word
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
uprightness
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
uprightinity
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
nvm la
lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:40 PM):
you know what i mean

2006-10-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

lenard seen is a motherfucker says (9:34 PM):
FUCK U STOP MAKING FUN OF MY SPELING

2006-08-11T01:55:00.000+08:00

QUOTE(TEHPWNZOR @ Apr 1 2006,08:59 AM)
On a more realistic point of view, nobody in the world kills their own people just to lower their enemies' kill counts. Imagine a nurse stabbing a syringe through a poisoned patient's heart because he/she wants to deny them the kill.

2006-07-28T19:24:00.000+08:00

"How did they expect us to keep hold of Jermaine Pennant. Did they want us to chain him to the fence?" - Birmingham chairman David Gold. Of course, it wouldn't be an entirely new experience for Mr Pennant.

mediawatch is my new bash.org

2006-07-17T00:40:00.000+08:00

running.f2o.org - fucking mats says (12:35 AM):
she nice backside

HOHO person who guess who bonks is talking about get prize!

2006-06-27T18:22:00.000+08:00

2006-06-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

I AM A TAIWANESE COMPANY DEALING IN ELECTROSTATIC COATING EQUIPMENT. WOO.

Yuan Chyi Industrial Co., Ltd.
Yuan Chyi was established in 1983.With over 20 year's experience in electrostatic coating equipment and products precision machine in Taiwan. Yuan Chyi consistently endeavors to invent and develop the advanced products to meet the newly trends on the surface coating markets. At the present, Yuan Chyi has obtained the patents of structure improvement individually in Twin-turbine Atomizer, Disk and all kinds of spraying nozzles

Yuan Chyi Industrial Co., Ltd.
Sinjhuang City Taipei
Taiwan

2006-06-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

A blond gets a job at a toy factory making Tickle Me Elmos. The foreman takes her to her station and gives her instructions, then goes back to his office.

An hour later, he looks out and sees the line is halted. He goes down the line looking for the holdup. When he comes to the blonde's station, he sees she has a big pile of Elmos. He watches her take 2 marbles, drop them in a little bag and carefully sew the bag between Elmo's legs.

He rolls his eyes and says, "Let's go over this one more time. Your job is to give Elmo two... test... TICKLES!"

2006-06-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started.

2006-06-21T22:32:00.000+08:00

A teacher doing grad studies was doing a study testing the senses of first graders by using a bowl of lifesavers.

He gave all the children the same kind of lifesavers one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.

The children began to say:
Red................cherry,"
Yellow.............lemon,"
Green..............lime,"
Orange.............orange."

Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste.

Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue, It's what your mother may call your father at times."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled:

"Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"

2006-06-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirl to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

“WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?”

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I've come for some courage.”

“NO PROBLEM!” says the Wizard. “WHO IS NEXT?”

Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well........., I.......I think I need a brain.”

“DONE” says the Wizard.

“WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?”

Up steps George Bush sadly, “I'm told by the American people that I need a heart.”

“I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!” says the Wizard. “CONSIDER IT DONE.”

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

“Is Dorothy here?”

2006-06-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

A penguin is driving across the U.S.A. and his car breaks down.

Luckily, he was an AAA member and called the dispatcher on his cell phone.

A tow truck was dispatched, and he and his car were towed to the nearest town for repairs. The mechanic told the penguin it would be a while, so the penguin went across the street to find lunch at the grocery store there.

He hung out in frozen foods. He ate some fish sticks, fillets, and some ice cream.

Checking his watch and seeing almost an hour had past, the penguin waddled back across the street to the mechanic.

The mechanic walked up, wiping his hands, and said, “Looks like you blew a seal.”

The penguin blushes, wipes his mouth and says, “No, no! It’s ice cream!”

2006-06-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. To be shot.

2. To be hung.

3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."

Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me."

Snap! he was dead.

The Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."

They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing.

The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Redneck said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.

Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"

The Redneck replied, "You guys are so stupid..... I'M WEARING A CONDOM!!"

2006-06-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

she just keeps outdoing herself doesnt she ? (:

i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
eh
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
dont spray insect repellant on your balls
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
it hurts
- yuancai you are a getaway car says:
ok
(w)d!nGs.cjb.net says:
i know
- yuancai you are a getaway car says:
thanks
(w)d!nGs.cjb.net says:
i was trying just now
(w)d!nGs.cjb.net says:
wahh damn pain
tian - I WAS COERCED BY BONKS. ): says:
eh i did ok
tian - I WAS COERCED BY BONKS. ): says:
HUH
- yuancai you are a getaway car says:
WTF
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
HAHAHA
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
WTF
(w)d!nGs.cjb.net says:
OMG
tian - I WAS COERCED BY BONKS. ): says:
dings are u ok?

2006-06-20T00:38:00.000+08:00

- yuancai SUPERCROATIGORBISCANUSEDTOBEATROCIOUS says:
BLACKMAIL
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
cant la
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
because
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
i got nth to give u
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
except my virginity
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
if you want it that is
- yuancai SUPERCROATIGORBISCANUSEDTOBEATROCIOUS says:
wtf
- yuancai SUPERCROATIGORBISCANUSEDTOBEATROCIOUS says:
new quote
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
wtf om
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
i mean if you blackmail then u need smtg form me what
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
im not rich
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
or smart
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
but i got teh secks
i dont need no girlfriend i got a WIFE says:
so if u want u can have

NO FUCKING THANKS ?!?!? ?!?!?!!?

2006-06-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

a quote to cover up my own, by a friend most of us know and love:

tian - says:
whats one chop anw
cedric shitty days ahead says:
walao
cedric shitty days ahead says:
even a draw i lose leh
tian - says:
tht guy keeps talking abt it
cedric shitty days ahead says:
HAHAHAH
cedric shitty days ahead says:
ITS CALLE
cedric shitty days ahead says:
WANCHOPE
cedric shitty days ahead says:
the coasta rican player
cedric shitty days ahead says:
omg
cedric shitty days ahead says:
im going to tell dings
tian - says:
OMG
tian - says:
DONT

and

wth la who call themselves wanchoppe
cedric shitty days ahead says:
i cant lie very well
tian - says:
thts a shitty name la
tian - says:
i thought its a name of a particular skill or sth
tian - says:
and i was wondering for 45 min
cedric shitty days ahead says:
HAHAHHA
tian - says:
everytime the guy brings up the term
cedric shitty days ahead says:
WHAT A BRILLIANT ONE CHOP

2006-06-09T16:15:00.002+08:00

apparently some ugly ri gepper guy got himself a gf and is damn proud of it!

cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
i saw him on wednesday morning with a hideous girl
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
he was holding her hands
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
and smiling at me
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
at j8
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
he gave me the
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
victory smile
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
like
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
ha you nub
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
that kind of smile

2006-06-09T16:15:00.001+08:00

AND THIS IS HIS ELOQUENT RESPONSE!

cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
hahaha
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
so
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
think of a time when the beach isnt sundy
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
sandy
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
eh sfuck
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
sunny
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
i mean
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
like
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
hot
cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
damn hot that kind

2006-06-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

cedric words dont solve violence, violence solves violence says:
are we going to dive into the beach

be sure to shove cedric's head into sand!

2006-05-13T00:51:00.000+08:00

BY ORDER OF TAKUGO OF TEAMX:

SOCCER ON THE 17TH JUNE. DO NOT BRING MUGGING MATERIALS! i'll bring the ball i promise!

2006-04-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

#632906 +(2209)- [X]

this guy keeps sending me notices, how do i send them back?????
<`Trust`> ./notice
ty!
./notice

2006-03-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

WTFBONKS

alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
btw cedric sleeptalked 4 outta 4 times
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
ahahahahha
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
okay maybe 3outta4
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
cos the first was a laugh
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
walao
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
even worse
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
today he asked me abt my portuguese friend
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
hoho
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
wtf in his sleep?
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
yah
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
wtffffffffffffffffff
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
i dont even have a portuguese friend
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
unless you count mourinho
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
then the other day he asked abt my arts course and whether i applied for scholarship
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
hoho
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
damn funny.
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
then he ends up snoring after i say 'HUH? WTF?'
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
maybe he referring to ryan gomez
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
haha
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
this is hilarious
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
can u record somehow
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
ill try tonight
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
hehehhee
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
but its really random lor
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
yeah wtf arts
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
how i know he'll open his mouth
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
i dunno la
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
lol
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
find some cheap old cassette walkman
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
keep on record forever
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
yesterday was the longest convo ever even though it didnt make sense
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
haha.
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
wtf "convo"
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
convo with sleeping person
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
he asked me something else b4 asking me abt my friend
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
i cant rmb what
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
then i said wtf you talking abt
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
this is madness
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
then he said. yahhh your portuguese friend
- yuancai "* Fixed Berserker's Call exploit on roshan." says:
bonks is medically insane
alaric onelastdancewithyou.~ [whee.] says:
something liddat

2006-03-17T17:09:00.000+08:00

So I there’s this virgin girl I know, she is Inconceivable
no she's unbearable
no you idiots, she's Impregnable

2006-03-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

jenhan "cut abit shorter ok?" my hair has been mowed. says:
ok i got no penis

it took him 6 years to confess, but we all knew the truth anw (:

2006-03-13T21:32:00.000+08:00

alaric at bonks' place witnessed something i can only speculate as a common phenomenon:

cedric people are all the same says:
omg bonks woke up
cedric people are all the same says:
laughed to himself
cedric people are all the same says:
then continued snoring

2006-03-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

haha fuck you back _|_

2006-02-28T19:56:00.000+08:00

fuck you assholes no one posts but me

d!nGs.cjb.net says:
then this is my penis
yuancai. says:

d!nGs.cjb.net says:
hahaha
d!nGs.cjb.net says:
=========D
d!nGs.cjb.net says:
haha
d!nGs.cjb.net says:
i tried to draw
d!nGs.cjb.net says:
but my drawing not gosu enough
yuancai. says:
wtf no nuts

2006-02-01T18:43:00.000+08:00

Lordy, It's The Quotes Of The Week!

"You could see he was 10 feet tall when he walked through the door and from his point of view it is a fantastic move" - Stuart Pearce. At least he'll be shoulder-high to Peter Crouch, then.

"I have never seen a player so excited to sign a contract. In fact, I have never seen anyone so excited full stop" - Liverpool chief executive Rick Parry. It says a lot about Robbie Fowler. And maybe a bit about Mrs Parry as well.

I <3 robbie (:

2006-01-17T20:44:00.001+08:00

cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
computers nowadays are wonderful
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
they can even tell you what porn u wnat
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
wtf
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
really
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
you just google your fav type of porn
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
the stuff of wet dreams appears man
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
damn shen
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
er
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
duh
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
because man puts it there to be found
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
in 1999 if you google a certain kind of porn
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
the women would trun you off
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
google milf in 2000
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
and milf in 2006
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
you will understand
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
wtf
.yuancai. it is only a feeling says:
milfs are gross
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
NOT IN 2006

2006-01-17T20:44:00.000+08:00

cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
aiya yabbies quite pro la
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
in rj
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
i saw him sitting at the table
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
got 6 j1 girls
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
laughing
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
then i sai
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
eh yabbie your an ogl meh
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
then he said
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
no la these are my friends
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
wtf
cedric i was wrong about bobby yea it seems says:
j1 friends

yabbie dont pretend its your sister's friends cuz whothefuck hangs out with your sibling's friends (except poey) :)

bashismyfavouritewebsiteintheworld

2006-01-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

#601393 +(469)- [X]

[StaticFish] Where did I put my stick of RAM?
[StaticFish]I'm losing my memory.

2006-01-11T19:08:00.000+08:00

so it begins says:
she damn hot
so it begins says:
i love her

GUESS WHO (pun. hurhur.) yabbie is referring to! first correct answer gets a cookie (:

2006-01-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

maa maa maa maa says:
bukkake unko unko chitsu sia
maa maa maa maa says:
anyhow jap

2006-01-02T03:31:00.000+08:00

happy new year!

our new years resolution as boredphuckers would be for everyone to blog everyday.

yeah right

2005-12-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

before we realised that a popup was more realistic..

2005-12-28T16:50:00.000+08:00

put me and jian in a room with a white board, a laptop and an ohp and this is what you get. wahoo!

2005-12-28T02:57:00.000+08:00

i like robots too..

2005-12-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

What's round and snarling?

A vicious circle.

2005-12-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

Two men are walking down the street...
I forget the punch-line, but your mother's a whore.

2005-12-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris
smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different
kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30
minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was
more "humane".

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people
dead.

Chuck Norris never misspells a word. If he does, he simply changes the
spelling.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every
popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and **** on their floor,
just because he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from
"Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of
Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have
a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in
every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can
"accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler
did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by
Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact
change.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just
bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly
says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in
the face.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't !&$% with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for
one scene and nobody noticed.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
her into a glacier.

Chuck requested he be allowed to bone Christie Brinkley after ever total gym infomercial and she agreed!

15 More Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles".
Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he
exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far
too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on
his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt
to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her
a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take
yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to
put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his"
way.

2005-12-27T03:21:00.000+08:00

THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN

2005-12-25T02:41:00.000+08:00

please watch THIS it is g0dl1k3 snl rocks

2005-12-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

merry christmas to all for tmr =]

2005-12-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

eh i got cdc & ccc good progress award from vivian balakrishnan wtmf

2005-12-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

TO THE CHINAMAN MOTHERFUCKA FROM SQ 803 WHO TOOK MY EXPENSIVE LEATHER JACKET:

i hate you.

p.s. china banned blogger.com wtf

p.p.s. the blog doesnt update itself

2005-11-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

yay! my post didnt actually didnt get deleted, its hiding down there! whee, go read it.

im feeling sick now, and yabbies back from msia

2005-11-27T14:29:00.000+08:00

oh my god, since my ten thousand word (really!) post got wiped off the face of the earth last night, i am resigning myself to do a much less impressive one now. so much for d!nGs and co.'s excellent adventure. ):

yesterday, we gymed, met dathau at j8, ate kfc for lunch, watched prime at plaza singapure, played games at the arcade, had dinner at the food court in meridien, played lan at cineleisure, took the wrong train (TEJA BLOCKED THE SIGNS, ITS NOT OUR FAULT?) and then took the correct train and went home.

and i'm sick and sneezing. ):

2005-11-27T02:06:00.000+08:00

OH GOD MY SUPER LONG POST DISAPPEARED! FUCK! I HATE BLOGSPOT.

2005-11-27T01:17:00.000+08:00

Gan "GGG" Wai Leong is a fucking loserrrrRRR

.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
z0mg pool are 7th
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
did you watch
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
damn boring
- ffs says:
OH YAH
- ffs says:
WTF MAN
- ffs says:
I TELL U
- ffs says:
ITS FUCKING GAY
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
WHAT
- ffs says:
the first half was damn sian
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
YOU?
- ffs says:
2nd half
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
yeah
- ffs says:
like 50th minute
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
zz
- ffs says:
i go shit
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
lol
- ffs says:
den my stomach reaelly fucked up
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
missed the goal?
- ffs says:
i came back saw 1-0
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
ggxx
- ffs says:
den the game boring again
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
then boring again
- ffs says:
wtf lor
.yuancai. paragon has over-zealous auto-flush toilets says:
rofl
- ffs says:
WASTE MY LIFE

2005-11-27T00:11:00.000+08:00

[since pehpeh alleges that his browser mystically forbids him from blogging on boredphuckers, i have diligently copied his tale of marginally less epic proportions onto our fabled collection known as boredphuckers.]

[PEHPEH'S STORY STARTS HERE]
today was an interesting day. let me recount the events.

waking up at my usual time of 1130 to find light shining into my eyes and the wrath of a drill being unleashed on the apartment above me, i discovered, to my tremendous horror that i had a grand total of five smses which i ignored because my phone was plugged into the charger and it doesnt vibrate when plugged in. as i replied to the smses, my monitor flared to life as i pressed the monitor button. i then discovered that 3 people had messaged me on the convenient application beloved of us known as MSN MESSENGER, ignoring the fact that i had my status set to away.

continuing to ignore the three open conversation windows, i moved my mouse to my taskbar and clicked on the icon which has ruled my holidays. a sphere inscribed with a W, allowing me to immerse myself in a fantasy world ruled by wsad and my two mouse buttons, where i am able to slay ogres twenty times my height in less then 7 seconds with swords flashing so fast that my computer fails to keep up with them. yet, nothing so interesting today. i merely walked around the great city of ironforge chatting with random people and, amazingly, tore myself away from the computer to eat my extremely cold breakfast.

following which, my house was graced by a visit from Roland "rainbow" Chua(as yuan cai so aptly names him), who immediately decided to immerse himself in the world that i had just tore myself away from, to slaughter boars and scorpions and basilisks with nothing but his trusty pet and mighty bow and polearm. our beloved one-legged friend, again using the extremely convenient application referred to above as MSN MESSENGER, told us to meet him at bishan mrt at 1430. our brilliant sense of time permitted us to misinterpret that as 3oclock and as such, Mr. Rainbow only paused in his merciless hunt of hapless animals at 1430. disconnecting my mouse and removing my mousepad from the table, i threw them into my bag as i wore my jacket over my morrison house t-shirt as mr. rainbow visited the lavatory.

now, closing that masterpiece of wood known as a door behind me, we proceeded down the staircase and depressed the button to summon the lift to our floor. immediately mr. rainbow discovers that he left that mobile device without which none of us could survive now, the handphone, back up in my house. so up the stairs we trooped once more, reopening the wooden masterpiece of a door once more, for him to retrieve his handphone, and then proceeded on our long and uninteresting journey to the city hall mrt station and from there, continuing onwards to the heartland of singapore IT, no not sim lim square, but FUNAN THE IT MALL.

upon arriving inside funan, we proceeded to meet up with our beloved DoTA teammates Gan "GGG" Wai Leong, Wong "deaceshooter" Di Fei, and Goh "trowa" Qi Xiang to eat lunch and be amused by mr. wong's talent in the art known as "bullshitting". following which, we moved on towards the centre of funan to register ourselves as present for our DoTA competition, and draft the heros that we wished to have. for the DoTA-illiterate people reading this, you will fail to comprehend the lists coming up, but since more people i know play DoTA then not, i will list the hero choices, in the order that they were drafted. TEAM KKAY:) (our team for the uninformed) : 1st) Razor the Lightning Revenant. 2nd) Ezalor the Keeper of the Light. 3rd) Akasha the Queen of Pain. 4th) Rylai Crestfall the Crystal Maiden. 5th) Rikimaru the Stealth Assassin. TEAM MJ IS GAY (our opponents for the people with IQ below 50) : 1st) Bradwarden the Centaur Chieftain. 2nd) Sven the Rogueknight. 3rd) Rhasta the Shadow Shaman. 4th) Kel'thuzad the Lich. 5th) Crixalis the Sand King. Luck was on their side as they managed to predict which side the golden piece of metal worth one singaporean dollar that the marshal flipped up into the air would land on. They chose to pick their hero first, so we were left with the choice of choosing the side that we would play on, and we decided we would, for strength and honour, defend the World Tree on the side of the Sentinels, and that they would, for king and country, defend the Frozen Throne on behalf of the Scourge.

With our immense talent, unbelievable micromanagement, extremely vulgar communication, perfectly coordinated timing and insane aggresiveness, we managed to, as gamers put it, "pwn" the other team. However, their defence held up under our constant probing, and in the end, Mr. Wong, also known as DeAceShooter brought down the righteous wrath of god upon the opponents by building an Oblivion Staff, which caused a "Fatal Error". Now, before this, our opponents, in an amazing display of gamesmanship, had attempted to have us disqualified over the fact that Mr. Gan aka GGG had built a Refresher Orb, which was technically forbidden by the rules of the game although the glitch caused by using it, ironically a "Fatal Error", had been fixed a few versions ago. The game was paused for around 15 minutes as the marshals debated on what to do, and in the end it was decided that as he had not used the Orb yet, he would be permitted to blow it into oblivion (haha pun), or rather just throw his spears at it until the treasure box representing more then 5000 gold and 30 minutes of game time farming closed. So, back to Mr. Wong's calling down of Armageddon upon the entire game. After the game closed, he took a screenshot of the "Fatal Error" warning box along with the entire desktop and set it as the desktop wallpaper, in hopes of befuddling the poor, innocent gamer to next set his eyes upon that particular computer. As to who was awarded the win, the marshals viewed the replay up to the point where the game crashed, decided that our team had a clear and decisive advantage over the other due to the fact that we were beating them in hero kills, tower kills, barrack kills, levels and gold, and awarded us the victory over team MJ IS GAY.

Following which, we made our slow way out of the gaming area and proceeded to scout out the other teams who were playing at the moment, and sad to say, most of them were a disgrace to the gift of God that is DoTA. Deciding not to sear our eyes with the blinding agony of watching those teams "play"(playing used in a figurative form here because i am unsure of whether those teams really knew how to play the game), we dragged our weary bodies into the shamelessly overpriced and yet over-patronized establishment known as PastaMania. Leaving Mr. Gan to place my order, i paid a visit to the lavatory, and after that, went back to consume my meal before leaving for home in a taxi with Mr. Gan.

As a result of us beating team MJ IS GAY today, we will have to once again, drag ourselves down to Funan tomorrow to face off against team Sacrilege. May Lady Luck shine upon us, and enhance our skills to the point of, as gamers say, "1337ness".

And thus ends MY tale of epic proportions.

2005-11-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

heres my own adventure in choa chu kang! (: not as exciting as monsters one but it was fun nonetheless!

on friday night at 2 and a half am i decided to go and buy supper. becus my parents would kill me if i left the house without them, i snuck out and took the only set of keys with me. the deck chair by the pool was damn enticing la so i wanted to go and lay down. then when i was like 50cm from plunking my ass down on the chair i realised there was an old man on it. not a ghost just some weird old man taking a nap on a deck chair by the pool at 2.30am in the morning.

just outside my condo i suddenly saw like five (oh i cant call them m-a-t-s anymore later get arrested) fellow singaporeans and they stared at me. and i stared at them. then suddenly one of them stood up and walked towards me. so i readied myself and ...

faster walked off towards the coffee shop. i bought laksa and then i realised what a wonderful thing an ice cold beer would do after my spicy laksa. i went to cheers to buy a nice can/bottle of beer. then the woman asked me: ic please! like 2.30am in the morning la and she had to go spoil my day. so i said i nv bring (which was true) and she said then cannot buy. but im 18 i said! and she said sorry. so i showed her my ac shirt and she said maybe youre j1. so in the end i bought a bottle of root beer. still beer anyway. got defeated by the cheers aunty ): sighhhh.

i didnt wanna encounter the fellow singaporeans again so i made a detour and cut through the mrt from the other side. on my way i saw two fellow singaporeans making out, some old lady standing there doing nothing, some hot chick manning the counter in seven eleven and two chinese people making out. i made my way back safely. weirdly right the old man wasnt on the chair anymore. in fact he was gone. maybe he went home but he was sleeping reallllllly soundly when i was there. hmmmmm. maybe i imagined him.

i let myself in and then i read a boook. the author says that aliens are among us and duno what fly some spaceship to save us or some shit like that la. in the end, i fell asleep. and awoke to a cold packet of clotted laska and warm root beer. I FORGOT ABOUT My SUPPER!!

2005-11-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

ignore previous posts, they suck cock. now here begins the true tale of epic proportions, narrated by yours truly, d!nGs almighty. thankewverymuchh.. btw, my is gay. all right, hold on to your seats, because this story, entitled "d!nGs and Co's Excellent Adventure" is about to begin.

Once upon a time, a young boy named d!nGs, arose out of his deep slumber on his oh so warm and cosy bed, aghast to discover that his phone clock read 9:45. "Oh my F***! I'm going to be late." He mumbled to himself, very much still in a dazed stupor. Our poor hero stumbles over his own feet in his haste to wash up and get ready to meet his dear friends at Junction 8, their favourite haunt for the past god-knows-how-long years. Suddenly, he finds himself falling out of his bed again. "What the F***?!" He cries, and promptly realises that he had been dreaming about waking up. Thankfully, the clock reads 8:03am and he falls back to sleep. Obviously, this short tale so far has a foreboding aura about it, and sure enough, our young hero rises for the third time that early Saturday morning, and finds that time has since sneaked by as his phone clock mocks him with all the heartlessness an electronic device could muster, the time 10:08 blinks brightly in his face, all knotted with anxiety. "Oh dear, I am terribly late," he mutters as he dials his good friend, long time chum Amishrake's handphone number. Hastily explaining his plight to his understanding and compassionate friend, d!nGs rushes around his house collecting clothes and other unthinkable items of little interest that he might need later. Shortly after, he sets off from his silent abode, shaking off the cobwebs of slumber that have plagued him for years, ready to embrace the adventure that awaits.

d!nGs finally, after eons of waiting for the unreliable bus service, reaches his destination which had since been shifted to the Bishan gym. He dutifully presents his Identification Card to the nice lady at the counter and leaps down the flight off steps, eager to see some friendly faces. A breathe of dry, cold air brushes past as d!nGs opens the door and is greeted by the clanking of gym machines being worked by big, able-bodied men with rippling muscles so well defined you are left speechless. He writes his name down, presenting his receipt and rushes to look for his friends, Yuancai and Amishrake. They appear, almost as if called, from the far side of the gym.

"Hallo!" says d!nGs.

"Hallo!" They chime in reply.

And so the day truly begins, as our hero and his comrades in arms, work the machines in the gym, trying to keep fit with the thoughts of National Service creeping around in the back of their minds. A hulking yet endearing monstrosity of a boy aptly named Teja appears shortly after and joins them. For all his labour that morning, d!nGs was not as tired as he thought he would have been, but a prior engagement with another friend Dathau beckons as our hero and his friends collect their belongings and rush off to meet this new friend at Junction 8. Consulting the greatest source of information to happen to Singaporeans a.k.a. known as The New Paper, they decide to watch a Prime at Plaza Singapura at 1.50pm. They then troop off to KFC, (pronounced kefek) where their ravenous appetites grab hold off them as they wolf down a sumptuous yet nutritious meal consisiting of Zingers and deep fried chicken and fries and generous helpings of Pepsi. Satisfied with their meal, which coincidentally contained notable portions of proteins needed to build big strong muscles, they set off once again for the fabled Plaza Singapura, situated by Dhoby Ghaut MRT station.

Fortune smiles on our young protagonists, as they arrive, beyond all odds, just in time to beat the notoriously large movie crowd on weekends. They procure four valuable front row tickets to the movie of choice, and then endulge themselves in the nearby arcade. d!nGs is unfornately desperately short on money, and is almost relegated to wistfully watching his friends play themselves to their hearts content, when Dathau comes to his rescue and offers to help him pay for a game of World Combat. And thus, an afternoon of enjoyment begins.

Alas, fifteen short minutes later, they realise that they are woefully late for their movie and instantly slip out of the bustling arcade and into the dark serenity of the movie theatre. The harsh coldness of the theatre soon threatens their comfort but d!nGs now rises to the occasion and digs out his trust and unused bath towel which can be doubled as a blanket. Being the reknowned kind-hearted good Samaritan, he offers to share his object of comfort with his dear friend Amishrake as they both huddle together and watch an entertaining movie which culminates in a beautiful scuffle between them. They lock arms and tussle in the seats, eventually rolling onto the floor as their engagement evolved. Fists fly and soon even their teeth are thrown in the fray as they attempt, rather successfully to bite one another. Eventually, the famous d!nGs, extends an invitation to a peace treaty (not a truce, mind you), to Amishrake. Knowing that he was no match for the might of d!nGs, Amishrake accepts the treaty and slips into the toilet to bemoan his loss to d!nGs. Yet, even in defeat, he is comforted by the fact there is no shame in losing to d!nGs, because it is only unavoidable as he is the narrator of this delightful tale.

The plot thickens as they gorge themselves on a scrumptious dinner in the caverns beneath the grand hotel Meridien. They then find themselves victims to the irresistable allure of LAN at Orchard Cineleisure where a gentlement accosts them and masterfully convinces them that they should play LAN, especially with a buy one hour get one hour free deal. And so, they play to their hearts content and zzz..

I fell asleep, but nevermind, our tale draws to an end where our friends part ways and make their way to their respective homes. Our happy ending nearly escapes our hero as he and his two friends Amishrake and Teja accidentally take the wrong train. Yet, their deceptive looks of disappoint were actually to hide a masterful plan hidden up their sleeves to find seats on the train home.

And yes, they lived happily ever after. Especially Amishrake and Teja who are spending the night together, doing unspeakable things to one another.

(:

2005-11-25T02:45:00.000+08:00

oh and read this
http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/manifesto.html
we will all understand and empathise

2005-11-25T02:36:00.000+08:00

since boredphuckers is almost dead and there is no pulse i shall attempt a resuscitating entry by applying my first aid skills to good use. here i shall recount the entirely pleasant experience of sneaking off to 7-11 for snacks for the viewing of peter crouch pathetically flinging himself at every cross. i swear i saw the betis goalpost move timezones a couple times.

HENYWAY, so i slip on a pair of slippers (omfg pun TT) and cautiously make my way out of the house. and whaddya know, the dog (hereby known as woofie) barks. and barks. and barks. then the other houses' dogs (hereby known as annoying-background-noise-which-could-wake-my-parents-and-screw-up-my-hunger-induced-exploits) start barking. pretty soon approximately 2846329482 dogs bark in unison in response to my breaking-out attempt. but no worries i proceed to jump over the lowest portion of my wall (hereby known as location-best-suited-to-place-a-mine-to-kill-burglars) and stroll off towards jelita fairly annoyed with my rabid drooly dog but ok im alive and not caught yet.

(i paragraph [dings take note] to soothe your aching eyes, which yearn for the next chapter of this enthralling story)

i then decide to tell pehpeh how gosu it feels to be walking in the middle of the friggin sixth avenue (hereby known as road-my-family-used-to-own-before-great-great-grandfather-smoked-it-away-with-opium) and there are no cars. right on cue a fucking taxi spoils my dream and zooms by. pehpeh then tells me it is fucked up to receive smses in the middle of the night even though the bulk of such smses probably came from his dear SLASKIRA (unscramble ftw). i then resolve to go out for cooling runs at 2am every day since my waking hours are spent playing dota/fm/kotor2 i have no life

upon entering the 7-11 store in jelita i proceeded to the drinks section when i noticed a can of coke sold for ONE TWENTY. EACH. MOTHAFUC DAYLIGHT ROBBERY AT NIGHT. so i, being ever-thrifty, ask the cashier if they sold 6-packs and she proceeds to dig one out from somewhere in the storeroom and starts to SCAN EVERY CAN INDIVIDUALLY FOR SEVEN TWENTY. i pointedly inform her that it is not common practice to do so as the 6-pack has its own barcode which can be scanned. THREE NINETY FIVE. i leave satisfied.

[at this point every reader is probably thinking 'fuck la yuancai so rich spend $3.25 also won't die T_T.' i have a reply: FUCK YOU _|_ ]

k. so while walking home i notice a neighbour's house with the living room lights on. i glance in and see a guy sitting in front of the tv staring at some green stuff which i can only assume to be grass on a football field. i therefore whisper 'LIVERPOOL' and moments later i hear a retort 'CHELSEA'. WTmF.

and i reach home. leaving my bounty on the low wall, i proceed to get a foothold on my wall before swinging the other leg over. as i straddle the wall, my godforsaken dog decides to nudge the slipper on the outside leg, causing the slipper to slip off (hurhur pun) and land outside. this happens TWICE. the third time i decide to stick the surviving slipper in another gap in my wall before climbing back out barefoot to retrieve the lost slipper. upon doing so the damn woofie decides to pinch my unguarded slipper (the one in the hole in the wall) and chew on it! he decides that there isnt a better time to play catch with me! any movement i make towards him is met by further attempts to distance himself from my menacing hands. he deems it an appropriate time to MAKE ME CHASE HIM AROUND THE FUCKING GARDEN FOR TEN MINUTES IN COMPLETE AND UTTER SILENCE. and i did get the slipper back, after a bout of RING AROUND THE GODDAMN ROSIES around my rusty backyard swing.

(lousy conclusion) i retrieve my food and exasperatedly retreat back into the safe confines of the house, safe from that dog/spawn of lucifer. that son of a bitch. then i proceed to enjoy myself watching peter crouch try his damnest to score dont worry i'm supporting you crouchy :):):):):) and so ends this thrilling tale of epic proportions.

epilogue
its 2.36am and i havent gone for my spaztic 2am run. willpowerZ ftW

2005-11-25T02:00:00.000+08:00

d!nGs ; says:
who's fat?
- ¦ [ tehgo ] ¦ - econs drops u says:
....
- ¦ [ tehgo ] ¦ - econs drops u says:
i'm fat
- ¦ [ tehgo ] ¦ - econs drops u says:
HAPPY?

yes very, thankew teja.

2005-11-25T00:32:00.000+08:00

TEJA TAKE NOTE

Stupid World of Warcraft.
I have no money, I have no skills. All of the hot hot elvin women are dancing with the big warrior guys. It's college all over again.

2005-11-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
if i bet on a win lose and draw
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
for the same match
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
will it be cancelled?
.yuancai. manusux says:
then the game will be cancelled
.yuancai. manusux says:
THATS RIGHT

2005-11-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

instead of deleting this disgusting chat with kt it is now IMMORTALISED in the boredphuckers annals

..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
y
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
are we talking
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
about penis
.yuancai. manusux says:
cuz thats the closest
.yuancai. manusux says:
you'll ever get
.yuancai. manusux says:
to having a real one
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
wa
.yuancai. manusux says:
siantaur must delete chat log
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
haha
.yuancai. manusux says:
this is disgusting
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
i agree
.yuancai. manusux says:
just like your penis
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
?
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
this chat log must be huge
.yuancai. manusux says:
its disgusting
.yuancai. manusux says:
no your penis is disgusting
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
disgustingly big?
.yuancai. manusux says:
z0mg im putting this on boredphuckers

..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
i will bless liverpool this weekend
..:: keith ::.. flyaway says:
by betting on aston villa

p.s. everyone go bet on 75-0 to liverpool

2005-11-01T00:18:00.000+08:00

this is by far the best quote in bash.org history. go vote for it.

#572066 +(1106)- [X]

I think just about anyone who meets me and talks to me for long enough comes to terms with the fact that I am a very sick, twisted person. Also factor in a few mountain dews, a Peer-to-Peer connection, and boredom and you get what might be the funniest combination imaginable.
I had been downloading music yesterday evening. Led Zeppelin, REO Speedwagon, Flock of Seagulls, things like that. Then I realized that it'd be a funny joke to play on people if I were to change "Keep on Rolling" to "Hot Lesbian Sex". I watched as within minutes this file got 50 downloads. I was astounded.
Then the Tom got an idea.
An awful idea.
The Tom got a wonderful awful idea.
What if, perhaps, I was to change some of these names to sick pornography titles? I wonder if I'd get any bites?
And this is where the fun begins.
The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating cake." I sat in anticipation, waiting for my first download. Success, the first download came. Then the second. Then the third. This baby was steamrolling down the information super highway like a trucker with a hardon that has 2 miles left to the next truck stop. Before I knew it, I was getting twenty downloads. Then thirty. Then fifty. Can you imagine that in the end, rather than getting dancing boys naked and indulging themselves with sweets and frolicking in a dewy meadow, one-hundred thirty two people got a disappointing video of Led Zeppelin performing "Dazed and Confused" in front of a live audience? At this point, I had no choice but to continue.
The second title I put up was "My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the lawn naked." I thought that this was too far out to get any downloads. Alas, I was wrong. It got a download. Then two. Then thirty. In the end, seventy-eight sweaty, drooling fudges wanted to see my ex girlfriend mow the lawn stark naked. She's not even that hot. Rather then get their lawn-mowing beauty, they got the song "Ozone baby."
For the third title, I decided to transform "White Wedding" into the more intriguing "Elephant cock horse." I wish I could say I was kidding when this thing was downloaded one hundred eighty seven times. I guess there is something about horses and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in people. I nearly died of laughter at this point. "How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!" For sanctity's sake, we're going to leave this as a mystery. I hope I turned some people on to Billy Idol, hopefully distracting them long enough to forget that masturbating to horse and elephant genitalia are not really something their mothers would be proud of.
I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.
They asked for Grandma.
They got Joan Jett.
At this point I had to start taking puffs of my albuteral inhaler to keep from suffocating myself with laughter. "Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" was my next proud creation. Everyone likes 38 Special, so everyone won't feel like such dumb-asses after downloading this footy piece of crap. Never underestimate the inertia traveling behind a toe inserting itself into a rectum, friends. It's like a fudging semi hurling down Interstate 40 in the noonday sun. One hundred twelve people wanted to jerk to this. God have mercy on us.
At this point, for some odd reason, the user name "Enraged Baboon" popped into my head. "Enraged Baboon fudging a nipple factory." No way in hell would this get many downloads. Who could possibly type in any or all of those keywords? I guess people like seeing sweaty red-ass baboons, nostrils flaring, banging their chests like Marky Mark in the movie "Fear", having sex WITH each other in a factory that produces baby-bottle nipples. Imagine what those children would look like. One hundred seventy two people typed those magic words into Limewire, and got a hot steaming pile of monkey love. Well, it was Pink Floyd, but a man can dream, cant he?
This could all seem very disturbing. My final experiment, however, made me dizzy as my precious sack retreated into my pelvis. ...THREE PEOPLE...three disgusting, drooling, perverted, fudged up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and bushy tailed, wanted to see "An emu taking a vicious dump." How does one take a VICIOUS dump and how does an EMU take one, for that matter?
Ladies and gentlemen: this is why I have lost every last ounce of faith in humanity.
If I may quote Method:
"You're going to make a lot of sick people very unhappy."

2005-10-30T02:08:00.000+08:00

who in ac is mugging chinese?

cai: rofl no chinese
sinchi: hahaa bonks got chinese i dont have (amish i got fm06 from torrent website)
pehpeh: chinese is on monday? lm0nade wow is more impt (pehpeh is busy and might not respond to you)
me: shit la i duno what to mug im reading my sec4 zuowen book

2005-10-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

hallo! monday is chinese?

hands up, who's studying?

*raises hand*

thankewwww

amish!

2005-10-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

post #350: happy bday amish =]

2005-10-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

quotes from amishrake (they're a bit old)

" i have one word for you, FUCK YOU! "

" yabbie's sister is a lesbian, i like her "

" i got 11 for the test. i failed by half mark. wait no, one mark! uh, i mean one and a half! "
(the test was upon 25)

heres smth else!

im an aries!
yuancai is a cancer!
amishrake is a scorpio!
guess what teja is?

ans: a fat fuck!

2005-10-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

zengyi the tay the jew! says:
later those newspapers want to interview me
.yuancai. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it. says:
you're mad btw
.yuancai. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it. says:
wow i can quote that
zengyi the tay the jew! says:
i hate fame
zengyi the tay the jew! says:
please don't quote me

zengyi is officially my favourite quote source :)

2005-10-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

zengyi the tay the jew! says:
i was reading this thingy on jews
zengyi the tay the jew! says:
jews also have the highest intelligence on earth
.yuancai. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it. says:
...right
.yuancai. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it. says:
but if you convert
.yuancai. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it. says:
then the average intelligence will plummet
zengyi the tay the jew! says:
hmm. i don't think they'll mind
zengyi the tay the jew! says:
caus their average penis size will augment to levels never seen before

2005-10-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

Quotes

Sometimes our words come back to haunt us. These quotes show how one slip of the tongue can echo a lifetime (not to mention bringing smiles to the masses).

The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep.

George Stephanopolous

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." (Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live)

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." (Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks)

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President." (Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)

"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." (Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge)

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake)

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." (A congressional candidate in Texas)

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the Los Angeles Riots)

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before." (Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower)

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money." (Everett Dirksen)

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." (Samuel Goldwyn)

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values)

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." (John Wayne)

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." (Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark)

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle)

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind." (General William Westmoreland)

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund--he was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste.")

"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet." (Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin)

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Thomas Watson, 1943

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle)

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." (Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle)

"There's no such thing as a tough child--if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender." (W.C. Fields)

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." (Popular Mechanics, 1949)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." (Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943)

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." (The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957)

"But what ... is it good for?" (Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip)

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." (Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977)

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." (Western Union internal memo, 1876)

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" (David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s)

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." (A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" (H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927)

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." (Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies)

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Decca Recording Co., rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." (Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962)

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." (Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." (Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre)

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." (Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899)

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." (Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project)

"This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it. He's doomed." (Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast)

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." (Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television)

"If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one." (Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on April 14, 1954)

"For the majority of people, smoking has a beneficial effect." (Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek, November 8, 1963)

2005-10-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

this (probably) proves that we > american kids

Revisionist History

The following are actual excerpts from history reports and tests from America's finest high schools and colleges. Spelling has been preserved.

The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.

The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of huge triangular cubes.

They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot.

The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.

Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.

Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

The airplane was invented and first flown by the Marx brothers.

Hitler's instrumentality of terror was the Gespacho.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.

Middle Eastern history was written by Florence of Arabia.

The Soviets erected the Berlin Mall?

Plato invented reality. He was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of The Republicans.

Germany's William II had a chimp on his shoulder and therefore had to ride his horse with only one hand.

The Germans took the by-pass around France's Marginal Line. This was known as the "Blintz Krieg."

Corruption grew especially ripe in Zaire, where Mobutu was known to indulge in more than an occasional little armadillo.

The plurious of wealth was therefore uneven. The rural populous was reduced to tenement farming.

The Boston Tea Party was held at Pearl Harbor.

Americans wanted no involvement in the French and Indian War because they did not want to fight in India.

Moses was told by Jesus Christ to lead the people out of Egypt into the Sahaira Desert. The Book of Exodus describes this trip, including the Ten Commandments, various special effects and the building of the Suez Canal.

Zorroastrologism was founded by Zorro. This was a duelist religion.

During the Dark Ages it was mostly dark.

Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.

The fall of empires has been a good thing, because it gives more people a chance to exploit their own people without outside interference.

Roman girls who did not marry could become Vestigal Virgins, a group of women who were dedicated to burning the internal flame.

Machiavelli, who was often unemployed, wrote The Prince to get a job with Richard Nixon.

History is nothing more than the behind of the present.

This gives incites from the anals of the past.

The British Empire is in a state of recline. Its colonies have slowly dribbled away leaving only the odd speck on the map.

Civil rights leader Martin Luther Junior was slain in the 1960s, shortly after making his famous "If I Had A Hammer" speech.

World War II began turning around when the Allies landed near Italy's toe and gradually advanced up her leg.

Hitler shot himself in the bonker.

When the Davy Jones Index crashed in 1929 many people were left to political incineration. Some, like John Paul Sart, retreated into extraterrestrialism. The New Deal was an idea inspired by Franklin Eleanor Roosavelt.

Satan Husane invaided Kiwi and Sandy Arabia.

Spartacus led a slave rebellion in ancient Rome and then appeared in a movie about it later.

Judyism had one big God named Yahoo.

Judyism had one big God named Yahoo.

Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, and comedies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.

Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote.

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.

Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.

Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand."

Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility.

Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

The Greeks invented three kinds of columns, Corinthian, Doric and Ironic.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.

Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible.

Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

Bach died from 1750 to the present.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.

Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he rote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.

Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.

Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

2005-10-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

Students Interpret
Science & Health

The following are interpretations of nature from junior high, high school and college test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers (spelling errors preserved).

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

The body consists of three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five—a, e, i, o, and u.

The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.

For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration.

For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.

For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat.

To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.

FREHDOM

2005-10-06T12:09:00.000+08:00

z0mg! FINALLY! I'M almost FREE!! Z0MG I FEEL ... feel what ah... UNBURDENED(?). MUAHAHAHAHAH I FEEL TEH POWER of nothing -.-

2005-10-06T00:59:00.000+08:00

what a weird day today i saw this fella who was just walking along the road digging his nose then some indian woman went up to him and scolded the shit out of him for digging his nose. then everybody else just stared in amazement at this indian woman.

the exams are like !#$#@%$#$@ but its gonna be over soon. praise the lord amen! when i graduate i will only have one thing to say: ac taught me how to pray and be able to hang around and feel normal in church.

2005-10-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

check out liverpool! haha noobs!

2005-10-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

i really couldnt help myself, its so funny (:

2005-10-03T20:08:00.000+08:00

hallo, the promos have well and truly started now.

i got fucking owned today in literature. i just sat there thinking about my frost essay but all i can think is omg i dont want to do this anymore! like halfway through my essay i really just stopped thinking altogether and rushed the rest of it so i can stone.

i don't think i am going to do well. and i also think that its just yuancai and teja blogging.

2005-10-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

so. liverpool lost 4-1 last night to chelsea. we all know who to blame. not traore for thinking his legs were 2m long when tackling drogba. not benitez for subbing 2 defenders off and sending strikers who did nothing. not reina for being so fecking n00b. just blame bonks cuz.............

cedric mindless banter says:
i think i was supporting pool last night

hes supporting real too btw tts why they suck so bad

2005-10-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

literature PAPER TMRW! and yes i am reading everything for the first time now. hopefully, i'll scrape another B like my commontest and pretend that my literature is actually good. (:

and OMFG, what is wrong with chelsea? im going to bet all my savings that chelseas going to win the prem alrdy la. i bet the odds are alrdy like 1.01 after tonight.

zzz back to reading frost. god he's boring.

2005-09-30T16:32:00.000+08:00

wtf la. we got chem spa on the promos thursday and physics spa the next wednesday. whytheFUCK do u schedule spas to coincide with the feckin promos so tt we have even more to study during the exams. same thing happened in the term exams. therefore by logical induction (not mathematical) ac sux and smart ac ppl do not exist (except me but im only ac in name not in spirit im a roflesian in spirit)

2005-09-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

FUCK PROMOS YO. IT'S BLOODY ECONS N CHEM MCQ ON E LAST 2 DAYS YO. waste of time imho.

2005-09-30T01:49:00.000+08:00

revival attempt number, uh lost count already! come come, lets make it work this time. actually this is more like a collection of boredphucker humour rather than a blog. but who gives a fuck?

7 more days to dukes of hazzard. and no teja, you may not go because your promos do not end on friday. you will be sitting your big ass down at home and mugg your small balls off!

sexT

2005-09-30T00:36:00.000+08:00

Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b
So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.

i shud quote this against my teachers yo.

2005-09-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

i am so pretty
i feel so pretty
tralalalala..!

2005-09-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

Mike: I had a random thought in the shower just before
Mike: I think I was still half asleep
Mike: if you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of johnson\'s no more tears, would it create beautiful irony?
Hopper: ROFL

BLOG PLS. juz cuz promos are screwing us up doesnt mean this thing dies kthx.